My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
