The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We have started to decorate penises.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
