I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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