I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
