yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
