Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
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