I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I want a musical about memes.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
