The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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