In America we eat man semen.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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