So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
