Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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