Define "chronic" masturbator.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
