stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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