the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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