It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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