I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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