After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
babies were throwing up all over the place
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
