Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
