So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
