it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
