I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
