Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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