i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
