I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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