Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
