Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
