So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The power of my boobs compel you
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
