Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
