do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
