I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
