Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
