i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
