So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
