my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
