Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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