whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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