Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
