giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
