Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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