So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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