sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
