hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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