I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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