You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
