Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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