i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
