i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
