Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
one two three fourrrrnication!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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