the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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