mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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