His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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