i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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